THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH                      January 30, 2012                      5:20 AM

62 F indoors                 21 F outdoors

TODAY’S HAPPINESS FACTOR:  8 out of 10

 Diane Luers is the one holding the stuffed toy.  Annie and Miss America (the blond beautiful one) are at the other end of the row.

This month of living without money has given me a stronger picture of my overall state, particularly as I’ve begun to measure life, not in terms of money, but by the Happiness Factor. 

I’m not sure exactly why I’ve felt so content. I think I need to figure out more of the reasons.  What matters is that I have allowed myself the time to erase money from how I feel about myself – after Sunday’s “garage sale” birthday swap I can see I need to seize more of these opportunities.

Quite honestly, maybe I haven’t used the opportunity to erase money to its full extent, but I still feel like I’ve been on vacation from the world.  The mail still arrives with bank statements (I didn’t look at them yet), and Blue Rock Station has received quite a few book orders, and workshop registrations in one month – let’s say it is a record for us.

Jay tells me the news (although he didn’t have school last Thursday so I’ve had a week-long break).  I do see some news headlines Online that friends send, but I haven’t found any of it worthy of reading in depth. 

But how not spending money has influenced me is a little less clear.  No errands, no thinking about what to buy at the grocery,  using no energy at night or to cook, and most importantly, no going to a restaurant to eat a single bite of food.  

I do confess that I have mentally built up a tiny list of things I must buy to get ready for kidding season, and as the chicken scratch bin has gotten low I tell myself that I must go to town on Wednesday to buy them food.

Another truth is that I enjoy having a break from creating menus, buying food, and preparing it.  Jay’s given me quite a good vacation this month from breakfast food preparation in the mornings, and the rest has been taken care of with the menus.  We’ve almost always followed menus, but not for one whole solid month at a time, and, possibly this is the important part, we have had to stick with them even if I was too busy to have the food ready by mealtime.

Yesterday I went to Jeanette Weinberg’s “Garage Sale” birthday swap but I didn’t drive myself, as I reported I would have to do.  Instead Diane Luers telephoned to insist she was coming to get Catlyn and me so we could all go together. 

Jeanette – the birthday celebrity – notice her tiara (on loan to wear the day of the birthday)

Diane’s gesture may possibly be what all of THANKS FOR NOTHING is about.  As I thought through how I felt about her using her gas and taking her time to retrieve us, I felt a little guilty.  But then I also felt guilty at driving the car, and breaking my promise to myself about not using that form of energy for a month.

As I looked beyond the guilty stuff (after all I was raised Baptist), I was able to see that Diane’s kindness created a whole new afternoon for all of us.  The sun was shining when she arrived – full of smiles and a gift of dried mushrooms. 

We spent some time visiting with each other, and then loaded the car with all of our goodies for the swap.  The drive to town was filled with laughter and tidbits of gossip and more catching up.

For two hours we sorted, tried on clothes, laughed, ate food and generally enjoyed ourselves with the other wonderful women.  When we arrived back home we had a proper cup of tea and visited some more. 

When Diane was leaving she hugged Catlyn really hard and said, “It was so good to see you Bunny”.  I can’t say why that touched me so deeply, but I can see that she had given us a gift of herself…something that would not have been so rich if I had merely met her in town, and not accepted her gesture of kindness.

Nans Thomassey is right…money does remove us from each other at so many levels.  I have to try to hang on to how this works so I can allow myself to experiment and learn more about life without money.  Tomorrow is the last day of the month, but not the last day of giving thanks for nothing…I think it’s just beginning.

  Miss America, Nans Thomassey and Guillaume Charroin at Blue Rock Station waiting patiently to eat some of Jay’s famous gluten-free pancakes.

 

 

 

As a brief interlude to Annie & Jay’s Thanks for Nothing Month posts, I wanted to share some of the progress I’ve made on the strawbale design we’ll be building in May.

Here’s a sneak peak at how things are coming along:

Glorified Privy in 3D, roofless

I’m two revisions into my design for the strawbale composting toilet building and I’ve discovered a few things:

1. I don’t know enough about living roofs
2. It takes a long time to design a building

For point number one, I’m struggling with my roofing system because this roof is not only supposed to support the weight of a fully saturated living roof with plants, but also the weight of two or three people and perhaps some lounge furniture and some safety railing to serve as a scenic overlook.

For point number two, I’m over twenty hours into the actual design process and I haven’t even gotten to hashing out the particulars of the pathway that spirals around the building to the top of the overlook! However, some of this time is due to my unfamiliarity with Google SketchUp, the 3D software I’m using to design my models.

At this point in my design process, I’ve got a few things figured out. I know for sure that to accommodate the size of the toilet and to still follow the ADA requirements for an accessible stall, my building will have an interior footprint of 115″ x 61″. I’ve also reconsidered the rounded east walls due to complexities in the design process (and personally thinking it’d be too hard to accomplish in such a quick workshop).

Hopefully a few phone calls with the family civil engineer will help me determine the correct support structure for the living roof, and progress on the design can continue.

As always, you can follow more of my progress and further notes on http://www.fourelementsdesign.com/fellowship

THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH                      January 29, 2012                      7:45 AM

62 F indoors                 28 F outdoors

COLD and windy

TODAY’S HAPPINESS FACTOR:  8 out of 10

Our 30th year celebration at the Miller Farm with lifelong friends.

I’m taking the day off – as “off” as I can with morning chores, preparing food, and writing the blog.  But after I complete the entire regular list of things I must do to keep us moving forward, Catlyn and I are going to Jeanette Weinberg’s birthday swap.

Originally I was going to get a ride with a friend, but she had to cancel.  Then I emailed another friend to see about a ride, and she might not go.  It may come down to the fact that I have to bite my lip and drive “Stella”, my car, into Zanesville.

Jay reminded me that we still have gasoline in the car, and there’s plenty in the tank for him to take Catlyn to school and get to his teaching gig.  I reminded him that gas in the tank isn’t the real point.  I don’t want to spend money – gasoline is money to me.

This entire month I have carefully rationed hay, grain, and milk so that we had enough to meet the needs of the critters and humans.  But then I promised Jeanette I’d be there (in March, 2011), and she sent me a post saying that I had to be there or she’d be devastated.         

            Childhood friends getting together for lunch:  Annie with Marty Delille, Pam Broadhurst Delille, and Carolyn Drown

For the first time in over four weeks I am going to drive the car into town.  It will be full of boxes of cassette tapes, clothes, pan lids and lots of other things I intend to trade with my friends.  I will trade the gasoline I use in Stella for laughter, good food, and another shared experience with friends.  It seems like I’m getting the best end of the deal

THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH             January 28, 2012                      7:34 AM

65 F indoors                 34 F outdoors

TODAY’S HAPPINESS FACTOR:  8 OUT 10

   Sophie and Cadeau, waiting patiently for me.

When I opened the door to the chicken chalet I saw his beautiful body resting on the floor, and I knew he was dead.  King Ferdinand, grandson of Antonio Banderos had just died before I opened the door.  He was young, healthy, and good at his job.  As I carried him to the house I felt worried about who would take his place.

King Ferdinand enjoying life with one of his hens.

Animals have been a big part of my January experiment.  Because the weather has been so good I’ve had more time to connect with them, and they have been happy to be my partners. 

Every single time I get ready to go out to do chores the dogs are so excited – really thrilled at the idea that the door will open into the outdoor world, and off we will go to the far off barn (800 steps from the house) to meet up with chickens, goats and llamas.

Sometimes when they are at the door dancing around, and Cadeau is turning in circles – just at the mere fact that we’re going off together – I think about how great it is to be happy about the smallest things in life, and I am grateful that they remind me of this.

I’ve taken a lesson from the dogs, I must admit.  On many days, when I am about to sit down to eat with my family I feel incredibly happy at the thought of it.  When Jay and I go to town together, or explore some new place I have this same sense of delight about life.  During my time in France I felt delighted almost every moment – looking at familiar things I cherished when I lived there, experiencing new people and new ideas.

This month has provided me with delight at every turn.  Each morning and each evening when I walk up to the barn I feel a sense of being nourished.  It is a great thing in life to have meaningful work, and I definitely feel that taking care of our livestock gives me a strong sense of purpose, a life connection.

Rosie, resting after a hard morning of guarding the livestock.

In the morning when I wake up I often feel energized by the thoughts I have when I begin to think about what I will write about that day.  Even if no one reads my words, I am pleased that I have the skill to put them into print.

Whenever I am sitting at the computer and one of the cats jumps up to sit on my lap while I work, I never fail to stop what I’m doing to pet them.  This month I have particularly enjoyed their attention, and appreciated the happiness they bring to my life.

The wind in my face as I walk has made me feel refreshed.  The stories I’ve relived and told this month have inspired me to think about what adventures must be waiting for us in the future.  The thoughts of new interns, and old friends visiting make me feel appreciative of what will happen this year.  I have really loved this time that we are alone together, and the fact that spring will come around again.

Staying put for one whole month has taken away some sort of expectation I’ve been carrying around – I don’t know what that means yet but not having any place to go has felt like a security blanket that keeps me warm and safe.

Michelle Belle playing the part of the jungle gym for two tiny goat kids.

Living without money has been so much more then just not spending it.  Somehow this month has erased barriers, and given me a new sense of myself – a re-writing of a small part of the core of who I am. 

I’m no Pollyanna though.  Don’t confuse me with anybody who puts her head in the sand.  It’s just that I want to live in a different world – a simple place where we focus on what we have in common.  And this month, I’ve spent a lot of time savoring the fact that I have things in common with everything that surrounds me.

The month’s not over yet, though, although I am not hoping to repeat what I found in the hen house last night – that’s just life happening in my real world, but it feels painful.  Instead, I am anxious to see what will come out of our experiment of living without money – and what has turned out to be my vacation from the world.

THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH                                  January 27, 2012            7:40 AM

66 F indoors                 37 F outdoors

TODAY’ S HAPPINESS FACTOR: 7 out of 10

Family meeting day

    Jay and Annie on their wedding day – his first waffle iron

This month has given me a new perspective on Jay.  In many ways our lives haven’t been any different then our everyday existence.  We work together and spend our spare time together, for the most part.

But the act of shutting down the computer during the day has given Jay some new incentives to do things differently.

But I am getting ahead of myself with what I wanted to say…One of my most embarrassing moments happened when Jay and I were first going together.  We had known each other a couple of months, so by now he knew that I was pretty serious about life, which he refused to accept about me, and told me so in every way possible.  I went out with him anyway.

This particular day Jay taught me cribbage, and a few other card games.  He won every time.  Of course I was calm and good-natured about all it because otherwise he wouldn’t take me seriously.

But then he suggested we play shuffleboard.  It had been a long time since I’d played so after refreshing me on the rules he offered me the first go.  As I shoved the disk I let go of the stick.  I don’t know what made me do such a stupid thing, but down the alley the stick and disk went without skipping a beat.

When I turned around to look at Jay he was laughing so hard  – it was the sound of music, of sweetness, of tenderness and love.  I’ve never stopped loving to hear that sound from him, even though he’s continued to find me quite humorous over the past 31 years.

   Jay and his youngest brother Roman in front of the Geppi’s Comic Shop, Clearwater, FL (Jay’s first management job)

This month Jay has been slightly different though.  Each morning around 9 AM he stands up from his computer and asks me what I want for breakfast.  Then, after a brief discussion he goes to the kitchen and, I do not exaggerate, he makes me a gourmet breakfast served on the tablecloth with a napkin.

This is the guy who asked me to dinner once, and then took me to the grocery store to buy a can of Campbell’s tomato soup, which we ate out of saucepan after he heated it up.  I went out with him anyway.

He’s always been a very helpful partner (even with the soup episode he shared his spoon), but this month he’s taken to keeping every dish washed as well.  When I come in from chores he loves to announce in a singing sort of way, “Did the dishes…”

I had an inkling he’d be a good partner when I first met him.  At the age of 23 he had no dishes in his kitchen, but he had a washer and dryer.  To me that seemed to say he had his priorities in the right place.  I even bought his philosophy on having one pan and one spoon – no dirty dishes to accumulate. 

Last night, as we sat in the candlelight eating the supper he helped me prepare (I started the food before I did chores and he added his own personal touches so it was on the table the minute I returned) I was filled with a feeling I have had often this month.

We were eating, and talking, and laughing together.  I am not sure why we never run out of things to tell each other, but we don’t.  I don’t remember what Jay was saying.   I looked into that face that was reflecting the candlelight and I felt so nourished by him.

Oh, I know it all sounds so silly, especially after 31 years of sharing his life.  But this month has given us an opportunity to move more smoothly together.  Some of that has been me, but, as usual, most of it is his patience and insightfulness into life.

I was right, all those years ago, to decide to love his laughter, rather than to be wounded by my awkwardness.  If things had been done differently I would have missed this month of giving thanks for nothing.

 

 

THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH                                  January 26, 2012            7:20 AM

65 F indoors                 37 F outdoors

Rain, rain, rain

TODAY’S HAPPINESS FACTOR:  8 out of 10

 

Meaningful work…Annie mucking out stalls and Jay, the breakfast chef 2012

January has been a time of reminding me that life cannot feel secure unless those around us are safe as well.  Safety comes in many forms – healthy food, affordable health care, adequate energy for heating, a safe place to live, and meaningful work at a living wage.  I would also add good friends and strong relationships with others.

A huge part of being happy in life is rooted in our personal values and a sense of security.  And values and a sense of security are rooted in feeling free to make decisions.  It seems like we use the excuse that we don’t have time to do anything else, when it really amounts to the fact that we don’t know “how” to make more meaningful decisions about how we use our time.

Turning off the TV or the computer at a regular time and giving the gift of time for reading, playing games, or just sitting around the table talking is a big step towards a higher HAPPINESS FACTOR.  This is such a simple thing to do; yet we hesitate because technology is an easy way to spend our energy.  Creating a quieter environment actually takes less energy, and, as we’ve found this month, gives back energy.

Another idea is to step out into society to volunteer, or just fill in when needed.  It often feels like we have so little control over what happens in our world, but volunteering to help others (and not just at Christmas) is a terrific way to replace consuming habits, and fill up that space with a sense of being worthwhile…an exchange of something besides money for making the community around us safer in every way.

My freedom to choose is so much more then just a bumper sticker.  This month has made it clear to me that I can choose to step away from the world for a period of time so that I can decide what is important to me at a deeper level, or I can learn new skills or even new things about myself.  I am more determined then ever to fight for my right to have this kind of freedom from technology, from consuming, from commercialism or the opinions of others.

This month, as I’ve thought more about what it takes to be content, I can see that a big part of my HAPPINESS FACTOR came from working for the rights of other abused women, and by going to places I’d been told to never go, or that I’d never be welcomed into.  Prisons, halls of great power in far off places, on trains across foreign unfriendly lands, and finally building a house out of trash.

My journey from those experiences, and now from taking time this month to be on vacation from the world, only led me back to the place my grandparents had shown me – a simple life.  At this point there is just no going back to the old me, or the one that my culture demanded.  Even though I know this, I need to be reminded that there are ways to live my life without consuming, without shopping, without wasting things and taking away from the future.  After all I am an American, filled with her ideals and dictates.

Please don’t think I have all of the answers.  I’m trying to find my way, the same as lots of folks.  But I do want to find and hang on to the energy that is at the heart of feeling secure, and free to be a happy human being.  The ultimate foundation for living a life rooted in THE HAPPINESS FACTOR.

THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH                                  January 25, 2012            7:00 AM

61 F indoors                 29 F outdoors

 TODAY’S HAPPINESS FACTOR:  7 out of 10

 

Annie Warmke and her grandfather, Arthur Slaughter

It’s a good thing to know where you’ve come from.  That knowledge can help explain away a lot of personality challenges.

Today is my grandfather’s birthday.  He would be 106 years old.  My favorite photo of my grandfather shows him (age 32) standing in the middle of a group of rough and tumble boys with his arm around my tow-headed father’s shoulders.  They had been camping.  With his thick brown hair, and piercing brown eyes he looks strong and handsome.

But in my mind he is the man who rescued me from my parents.  He could stand up to my father, and he did, without fail when it came to us kids.  I can still see him strapping roller skates onto my shoes when my mother said, “Girls shouldn’t ride horses – it injures their female organs.”  That afternoon, as my brother traveled to the stable with my cousins, my grandfather taught me to stand up with wheels moving under my feet.  

Sometimes I think of how my grandparents showed us how to live a gracefully simple life.  They had each other – “love at first sight” Grandma told me on many occasions.  Their car was an amazing antique (Catalina) that got washed every week so that it looked like it was always new.  The tiny house was clean, and welcoming to anyone who rang the doorbell.  There was time for a cup of coffee or a chat on the porch glider.  No one entered without being offered a bite to eat, and they often left with food, flowers or something they needed.

The garden produced green beans and tomatoes that tasted like they were made in heaven.  The cherry tree produced enough for the birds and the humans.

If I could boil down what I received from my grandparents, I’d say it is a love for a simple life.  And that life is rooted in the love of family, good food, and the good times of being with those you love…telling stories, reliving memories, and making new ones.  I come from the stock of some mighty wealthy folks.

When I was growing up my grandparents often took my brother (my twin) and me to visit Grandpa’s sister and brothers 100 miles away.  This was a long exciting drive filled with the stories of their youth.  We drove past the old house on the other side of the railroad tracks where they started housekeeping together.  Next was the “speakeasy” where Grandpa’s father made money during prohibition.  Then over what seemed like a mountain to his sister’s house on Gallia Street where we ate amazing homemade food and made ice cream, by turning the crank of the ice cream bucket for what seemed like an eternity (one of us sat on top while the other one killed himself turning and turning and turning the handle).

Annie Warmke’s grandparents on their wedding day in Portsmouth, OH – Helen Tipton and Arthur Slaughter

The adults usually sat around in the living room, or in the backyard telling stories about earlier days.  Sometimes we’d look at photos of our ancestors.  Mostly I would sit on the porch and look up at the rock “hill” in front of Aunt Mae’s house, dreaming of a day when I could live in a small town where life seemed so simple.  Everybody but me thought this was hysterically funny.

All of that love, all of those fun times, and the fact that all that remains of it is the souvenir in my brain, has influenced me greatly in this life.  I’ve been on a non-stop quest to recreate those times in my world.  Sometimes I’ve succeeded.  Sometimes I haven’t.

It’s clear that much of what seems to be important to the “developed” world is completely lost on me.  The combinations of feisty DNA cells, and rich life experiences have pushed me hard in the opposite direction of my counterparts.

I suppose the ideals that my grandparents gave to me have led me to seriously consider what “THE HAPPINESS FACTOR” really means.  I know it includes things like; personal freedom, personal values, health, community/friends, work/occupation, sense of security, and family relationships. I’m also thinking about how to redefine words like wealth, success and resources, and maybe even health.

But today I’m going to take some time to recall the image my grandfather gave to me – an image of how men should care for their children, and show love.  And then there’s the image of working hard, but playing hard…of enjoying a cigarette or a drink on the sneak, and being an elder in the church.  He taught me a lot…

 

 

THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH                      January 24, 2012            7:45 AM

34 F outdoors              59 F indoors

TODAY’S HAPPINESS FACTOR:  6 out of 10

 

NOAA weather radio and touch tone phone – TFN month news

 

This month has been a vacation from the modern world.  Jay corrected me when I said that the other day – he is still thinking it is “a month without spending money.”  That’s how he sees it, but I’ve whizzed past him to the bigger picture.

For the past few years I have de-toxed from daily newspapers.  I used to be such a news junky when we lived in Europe (THEY have great newspapers).  As news reporting has taken on an “everything celebrity” air, including the news gatherers, I’ve sworn off the daily newspaper, and taken up the art of hearing it all second-hand.

The latest headline is bombarded into the brain of anyone reading about it (in the newspaper or online), watching TV or listening to the radio.  The bombarding takes the form of hearing or seeing the same thing over and over and over.  By the time someone shares it with me, I only hear it once.  Plus we now can have a real discussion about the implications of the story.  Wow…what a novel approach to news.

My news process allows me to filter what I want to learn, and who is teaching me the information.  It also allows me to savor the things I do read and watch.  Jay says I am just being smug.  I say that it’s taken me a long time to be able to filter out all of the crap and I’m sticking to it.

How do I get my news? 

WEATHER RADIO:

My trusty friend, a 1970’s NOAA Radio Shack box that flips on with the touch of a finger pushing down the tab, gives me the weather.  The batteries in that little unit came with it over 12 years ago (I found it in a box of junk I bought at a farm auction).  When I’ve had access to cable TV, the first thing I do is look up the number for the Weather Channel, and then look at Jay to say, “Now that’s what TV was made for.”  He does not agree.

TELEPHONE:

The telephone I’m using this month is old-fashioned according to some of our younger visitors.  I think they called them “Touch Tone” phones.  When Mike Voellmecke, the engineer was here he touched that phone gingerly and, I swear, he said, “So that’s what they look like.”

There’s no caller ID, and it only extends as far as the cord will reach, but it requires no electricity, except what comes over the phone line.  Jay hates this phone, and sometimes switches the phone cord over to the cordless in the daytime announcing that it won’t reach to his desk and he’s working. 

THE PRINTED WORD:

Of course I read email and posts on Facebook.  That’s part of my job at Blue Rock Station during the day. 

Once a week the FARM AND DAIRY JOURNAL, my conservative connection to rural America, and THE GUARDIAN, a refreshingly informative publication (in other words liberal) arrive in the US mail.  I do confess that this month has made it difficult to have the stomach to read the FARM AND DAIRY JOURNAL but I will look at the stack after January 31^st.  Even THE GUARDIAN has seemed a little stale and I have just glanced through the pages to see if there is anything of interest.  The serious reading will wait – it feels like I have ADHD for the news at the moment.

THAT’S IT:

I never watch television, even when I’m not living without electricity.  When Barack Obama was on TV to accept the historic nomination for President I went over to Brenda South’s house to watch him.  That was the first time I’d seen what he really looked like.  It was a treat to watch history being made. 

For this month though, I have not even listened to the radio. 

As the month has worn on I realize that I just don’t care about the news, for the most part.  I discovered this quite by accident (not really, but it sounds good) when Jay, who hears the car radio on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons when he’s driving to Newark to teach his class, came home to report that Newt Gingrich’s second wife held a news conference.  Before he could even finish this juicy tidbit I asked him, “Why would I care about the former Ms. Gingrich’s opinions?”  Jay answered in rare form, “Because it’s good gossip.”  He looked wounded that I just didn’t care.  I couldn’t believe HE was using the words “good” and “gossip” in the same sentence.

I do confess that for the past few years I’ve taken the tact that if someone wants to tell me about a TV show or a film they’ve seen, I will listen.  The reason I like this strategy is that my life does not get wasted by spending hours watching some program or film that is uses up my life.  Once I hear the summary – two or three minutes versus hours and hours of watching – I can decide if I want to see it for myself.  Usually I don’t feel motivated to spend the time.

You might be thinking that I miss out on a lot of really important information.  I do admit that I was shocked on Sunday to learn at the Chinese New Year luncheon that Al Gore and Tipper were divorced.  I had no idea.  But generally I am well informed because visitors and friends are more then happy to share their latest video or film views, plus tell me the headlines.  Again, I spend far less time involved in getting the updates, then if I viewed or read any of it.

At the end of the month I’ll go back to using the wireless phone, although I like the Touch Tone phone’s ring.  But little else will change for me as far as newsgathering.  I’m more determined then ever not to be bombarded with what to buy or what to think.

THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH                      January 23, 2012

65 F indoors                 48 F outdoors

Rain, rain, rain

 TODAY’S HAPPINESS FACTOR:  5 out of 10

Catlyn has introduced the idea that she won’t go to college – WHAM!

 

“Stuff”- the nightmare.  Having enough vs. having more then enough…this is a theme in my life, maybe everybody’s life.  Possibly it is the human quandary.  To me, it seems even poor people in this country tend to have too much of it. 

When I used to travel a lot for my work I would have a nightmare a few days before I was supposed to travel back home.  In the nightmare I dreamt that I couldn’t fit everything into my luggage. 

From the time I was in junior high school until I switched to the lack of luggage space nightmare, I dreamt that I could not get everything from my school locker home at the end of the school year.

When I was younger, and just started swapping things for my birthday, my friends announced that there was a “12 Step” program for my clothing addiction.  They completely ignored the fact that I was moving, and that they took home garbage bags of clothing, hats, and other cool stuff to put into their closets. 

Annie’s cleats for standing up in the ice – no more falling down on a regular basis. YEA – they really work.

JAY ADDS TO MY ANXIETY:  When I returned from France in November, Jay had emptied out the laundry room to begin earth plastering the walls.  Many of the things in the laundry room ended up in our catch-all bedroom.  Jay has a habit of re-organizing my work areas and only putting back what he thinks is necessary.  I might not disagree with his abilities or choices, but I definitely don’t want to share the bedroom with the leftovers from the laundry room.

I used to tell myself that there is a lack of space in this house.  Since I can’t have a bigger space, and really don’t want one, I have slowly accepted the fact, after a lifetime of nightmares over “stuff” that I am going to reform myself.

One of my first acts is to daily gather up a bag of things that can given away.  This weekend is a friend’s birthday swap and in March there is another one.  The best things will be bagged and ready for those swaps, and the rest will be either thrown out or taken to the charity shop.

As any of our interns will attest, the Bunk House storage area is a terrific treasure trove of boxes, bins and miscellaneous stuff.  Ryan Evans was just here and he announced twice that I should “get in there and get rid of some of that stuff”.  My biggest problem is knowing what to part with – treasures from living in four different parts of the world, plus Catlyn’s lifetime accumulation of stuff.

OK, I’m brave, I’m smart, and I am good at organizing.  I can do this.  I have to downsize.  The THANKS FOR NOTHING month has continuously pushed this thought into my brain.  Ignoring my soul’s cry is only asking for more heartache, and possibly new versions of old nightmares.

Once again I’ve confessed that I am not perfect.  The next time you’re coming for a visit, or touring Blue Rock Station, please remember that it’s fine to bring a gift (people often do) but make it something we can all consume together, and I don’t mean illicit drugs

Jay Warmke, Chris Lofromento, Deb LoFromento, Annie Warmke, Chris Luers, Karrissa Hahn enjoying a Chinese New Year feast 2012

THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH                      January 22, 2012                      7:30 AM

27F outdoors                           65F indoors

 TODAY’S HAPPINESS FACTOR:  8 out of 10

If food is the heart of sustainable living, then friendship is the soul…

The table was all dressed up in red for the Chinese New Year luncheon. 

Our small gathering of friends braved the icy road to bring fruit and avocados (for later), a chicken dish, a noodle dish (for a long life), freshly made bread, and lots of good moods.  Jay and I had prepared shrimp spring rolls, and a rice dish.  The teapot was steeping with a Jasmine blooming tea flower.

There were decorations of Yen (Chinese play money), tissues (in Chinese packaging), paper cuts (beautiful little designs delicately cut out by hand), chopsticks (cheaters for Chris Luers, who is a novice at eating this way), and a big red sash in gold letters that ran down the red and gold table covering.  I have no idea what the letters say, but since my friend, Ginger Swank sent it to me last year from China, I’m pretending that it wishes us all a happy and prosperous year to come.

 

Carolyn joining in as part of the Chinese New Year decorations

The conversation was wild and intelligent.  After about two hours we might have solved many of the world’s problems, but it didn’t matter because we were laughing and agreeing with each other at almost every idea.

After we finished our broth (the official signal of the end of the food) Jay read us our Chinese horoscopes.  Karissa Hahn and I are rabbits.  There is nothing in the definition of a “rabbit” that fits either of us, which only added to the delight of the horoscopes.  When Jay said we are submissive we couldn’t stop laughing and protesting at the same time.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Chris Luers and Deb Lofromento think there might be some truth in their horoscopes.  But Chris Lofromento was full of jokes about his reading.  Strangely Jay’s was relatively accurate so we were all sure he wrote his own just to be “smart”.  He vehemently denied any responsibility.

By the end of our time together the dogs were jumping at me to get my Carharts on so the evening chores could commence.  They can tell time, even when they can’t see the clock. 

After everyone left and I was alone with the critters doing my routine at the barn I was thinking about the energy of friendship.  Friends, at least in Jay’s and my life, are people who have taught us things.  They bring hugs, and love, and their opinions to share.  They create souvenirs – memories, and these souvenirs sustain us when they are not around, or in times of trouble or need.

My best friend since my childhood is still connected to my life.  We’ve taken to having a bit of a holiday together annually.  To have time with her goodness is like a drink of fresh cool water.  Our history carries us through things – when I’m at my saddest and have no words, she is at the other end of the phone telling me the truth, or giving me nourishment.  How could I live my life without her – just knowing she is my friend gives me energy.

And at last, there are friends here in this place we love so much.  They are like a cool breeze that floats into the room and leaves nothing untouched.  Their friendship lends courage and goodness to my life.  We hold birthday swaps (one this Saturday), and share food, politics, and life.

Beyond them there are friends around the US that have been in our lives for a long time.  They have been through good times and hard times with us.  They show up in times of trouble or to celebrate life with us, and we miss them every day. 

And beyond them are our friends in far off places.  We stay in touch, and sometimes we even get to work on projects together, or actually see each other face-to-face.

A while ago I read that people who have long-term friendships live happier, longer lives.  If that is true, then my wish to live to be at least, I repeat, at least, 94 years old will come true. 

In spite of being opinionated, loud, passionate, and not normally knowing my place in this world (not like a rabbit at all), I’ve managed to achieve one of the big goals of my life – friends.  For sure I am going to live a long healthy life even though I did not eat any of those delicious-looking Chinese noodles.

 

Menu

Breakfast

Cinnamon Raisin Toast

Scrambled Eggs

 

Lunch

Potato Cakes

Salad

 

Supper

Shrimp and Rice leftovers