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THANKS FOR NOTHING MONTH                                  January 25, 2012            7:00 AM

61 F indoors                 29 F outdoors

 TODAY’S HAPPINESS FACTOR:  7 out of 10

 

Annie Warmke and her grandfather, Arthur Slaughter

It’s a good thing to know where you’ve come from.  That knowledge can help explain away a lot of personality challenges.

Today is my grandfather’s birthday.  He would be 106 years old.  My favorite photo of my grandfather shows him (age 32) standing in the middle of a group of rough and tumble boys with his arm around my tow-headed father’s shoulders.  They had been camping.  With his thick brown hair, and piercing brown eyes he looks strong and handsome.

But in my mind he is the man who rescued me from my parents.  He could stand up to my father, and he did, without fail when it came to us kids.  I can still see him strapping roller skates onto my shoes when my mother said, “Girls shouldn’t ride horses – it injures their female organs.”  That afternoon, as my brother traveled to the stable with my cousins, my grandfather taught me to stand up with wheels moving under my feet.  

Sometimes I think of how my grandparents showed us how to live a gracefully simple life.  They had each other – “love at first sight” Grandma told me on many occasions.  Their car was an amazing antique (Catalina) that got washed every week so that it looked like it was always new.  The tiny house was clean, and welcoming to anyone who rang the doorbell.  There was time for a cup of coffee or a chat on the porch glider.  No one entered without being offered a bite to eat, and they often left with food, flowers or something they needed.

The garden produced green beans and tomatoes that tasted like they were made in heaven.  The cherry tree produced enough for the birds and the humans.

If I could boil down what I received from my grandparents, I’d say it is a love for a simple life.  And that life is rooted in the love of family, good food, and the good times of being with those you love…telling stories, reliving memories, and making new ones.  I come from the stock of some mighty wealthy folks.

When I was growing up my grandparents often took my brother (my twin) and me to visit Grandpa’s sister and brothers 100 miles away.  This was a long exciting drive filled with the stories of their youth.  We drove past the old house on the other side of the railroad tracks where they started housekeeping together.  Next was the “speakeasy” where Grandpa’s father made money during prohibition.  Then over what seemed like a mountain to his sister’s house on Gallia Street where we ate amazing homemade food and made ice cream, by turning the crank of the ice cream bucket for what seemed like an eternity (one of us sat on top while the other one killed himself turning and turning and turning the handle).

Annie Warmke’s grandparents on their wedding day in Portsmouth, OH – Helen Tipton and Arthur Slaughter

The adults usually sat around in the living room, or in the backyard telling stories about earlier days.  Sometimes we’d look at photos of our ancestors.  Mostly I would sit on the porch and look up at the rock “hill” in front of Aunt Mae’s house, dreaming of a day when I could live in a small town where life seemed so simple.  Everybody but me thought this was hysterically funny.

All of that love, all of those fun times, and the fact that all that remains of it is the souvenir in my brain, has influenced me greatly in this life.  I’ve been on a non-stop quest to recreate those times in my world.  Sometimes I’ve succeeded.  Sometimes I haven’t.

It’s clear that much of what seems to be important to the “developed” world is completely lost on me.  The combinations of feisty DNA cells, and rich life experiences have pushed me hard in the opposite direction of my counterparts.

I suppose the ideals that my grandparents gave to me have led me to seriously consider what “THE HAPPINESS FACTOR” really means.  I know it includes things like; personal freedom, personal values, health, community/friends, work/occupation, sense of security, and family relationships. I’m also thinking about how to redefine words like wealth, success and resources, and maybe even health.

But today I’m going to take some time to recall the image my grandfather gave to me – an image of how men should care for their children, and show love.  And then there’s the image of working hard, but playing hard…of enjoying a cigarette or a drink on the sneak, and being an elder in the church.  He taught me a lot…

 

 

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