Posted by: cdcreech | June 26, 2014

The Greenhorn at Blue Rock Station: Post #3

THE HAPPINESS FACTOR #2: MEANINGFUL WORK

I have excelled at every job I have ever had. I may not have always been the most efficient or skilled worker, but I am almost always one of the favorites. Much of my success is likely due to the fact that I smile constantly. Coincidentally, in most of the photographs from my childhood I am wearing this awkward smirk because I was never quite sure what it felt like to smile. My family would always get after me about it. “Why are you making that face? You have such a nice smile, cut it out!” In which I would further contort my face into a catawampus mess in an attempt to please them. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized smiling was more or less my default face. I am sure it has been a greater asset to me then I will ever know.

People with Asperger's tend to struggle with facial expressions

People with Asperger’s tend to struggle with facial expressions.

What has also been beneficial is the positive attitude I try to bring with me in everything I do. To the best of my ability, I try to match my supervisor’s sense of importance when accomplishing assigned tasks, and I set off to accomplish the tasks enthusiastically when I am asked to. I don’t do this because I want to kiss my boss’ ass; I do it because it genuinely makes my job more enjoyable. Additionally, I make a point to avoid co-workers who emit a negative aura. The complaints, the poor attitude; it is contagious, and I do not want to be miserable while I work. However, I have still never quite been able to be fully satisfied with whatever job I have held. I inevitably reach a point where I wake up each morning, sit on the edge of my bed, stare at my feet, and think, “What the hell am I doing this for?”

You see, a sense of accomplishment is important, but it will only get me halfway there. In my search for meaningful work, I lacked a sense of purpose. My personal values and morals have never been aligned with the values and morals required to do my job. It feels as if I am always forced to put on one mask at home and put on another at work. I am not merely referring to formalities, but the clear disconnection between my ideology and the goal of the companies who employed me. One can lie to themselves for a while, but their own life may eventually begin to haunt them without a connection between their work and their soul (i.e. midlife crisis). I have witnessed this firsthand, as the many male role models in my life have begun to quietly unravel from their experiences in the military.

I have a very serious milk face.

I have a very serious milk face.

At Blue Rock Station, sometimes the connection to my values are obvious. For instance, when I muck out the goat stalls I am not only contributing to the health of an animal that provides me with milk, cheese, and laughter; but I am also creating soil that will be used to grow food in the future. Considering that sustenance is incredibly valuable to human life, it makes standing in shit not seem like such a bad deal. More importantly, though, I want to live in a way that shows a deep appreciation for my environment. I want to minimize the negative impact I have within the scope of my world, and cultivate healthy relationships with the people around me. The people I am currently working for not only support my lifestyle goals, but push me to pursue them. This not only makes the work I do more meaningful, but it kind of makes it not feel like work. Rather, it feels more like, as Annie says, “I am just living my life.”

The life expectancy in this country is nearly 80 years old. At 24, the time I have experienced on this planet will be experienced another two to three times before I die. I do not want to spend it invested into something I hate. I am aware that this will likely make my initial journey into the workforce difficult, but it will be well worth it. Following Jay’s advice: I will find something I enjoy, and when I do not enjoy it anymore, I will find something else to do.

I wake up each morning, sit on the edge of my bed, stare at my feet, and think, “Get your ass up, the babies are starving!"

I wake up each morning, sit on the edge of my bed, stare at my feet, and think, “Get your ass up, the babies are starving!”


Responses

  1. Christopher you are my hero…so proud…YOU .make me laugh and cry..and I thank God for you ever day…..cant to hear more….such a good writer too..

  2. Chris, I know your mom and got this posting from her FB page. Hope you can always find employment that mirrors your values. I’ve been sooo fortunate to be able to do that. I look forward to reading your blog.
    Jane Dana

    • hi Christopher and Jane….feel very flattered…BUT/ Jane..CHRISTOPHER is my grandson…his Daddy,/ CHRIS /is my Army son …so proud of both of them… I am so happy you read his amazing blog…am hoping many more do also….big hugs to all…GRANBECKY

  3. “Blessed is the man who has found his work, for he needs no other blessing.”


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